Don't Let This Go To Your Head

I am blogging everyday (or nearly everyday) on The Daily Stoic.

We should not let success change us. I feel like success has change me, only for the good. I’m not a dick to people, I’ve tried to stay the same person and recognize that I have to change for my own sanity. That’s why I’ve started down this path of stoicism. Self-improvement. Learning not to let things bother me or overwhelm me. I feel like I’m doing a good job of it. I’m sleeping better. Yet, I still have moments were I struggle. A lot of those instances are self induced. I am making progress, it’s just that I am essentially rewriting the coding in my brain.

I think the general idea is that I don’t devolve into a lesser self. Success often requires change though. Being an successful analyst and moving into management is a big change in mindset and approach. Moving up from there also requires a different way of thinking. So, success does change people. It has to or we die early from heart attacks, drugs, alcohol, or any number of things. And maybe I’m not changing, maybe I’m doing what I’ve always done. Work on myself and try to be the best person I can be. Work on my shortcomings and improve. I think there’s some ego involve and I’m chipping away at it piece by piece.

Deceived and Divided

I am blogging everyday (or nearly everyday) on The Daily Stoic.

What do I really want? What am I actually after here?

I feel like this has been me for quite some time. I am starting to come around on certain things and accept me for me. Weight is an example. I’d like to be 20 pounds lighter than I am. I work out. I ate health in both the literal and figurative sense. I like what I like. To get back down I’d have to either workout more or give up some of the things I’m consuming. The issue is that I enjoy some of the things I’m consuming. Body weight is an image thing that I really don’t have to worry about anymore, so I’m not willing to put in the extra time either. That would be time taken away from my kids, spouse, and friends. I’m starting to accept that.

I’m trying to figure out what I really want in my career. I’ve reached my goals. I don’t need to advance anymore, yet I struggle internally with not doing this or that or putting in the effort I’m used to. I feel like I’m trying to learn how to live, but I’m not satisfied. I like the sense of accomplishment and doing things, yet I can pull back a bit. I’ve been asking what do I really want and I don’t have a good answer. It’s very frustrating

Be Wary of What You Let In

I am blogging everyday (or nearly everyday) on The Daily Stoic.

The five people you hang out with influence your thoughts and decisions. While that’s true we do have a decision on what we let in. This can be applied for me at work. I see a lot of choices and thought process that I disagree with. It frustrates me. I think I can have some control over what I think should come into my thoughts. I’ve been working on that a lot and it’s allowed me to sleep better and be less stressed. I still have quite a bit of work to do. I need to choose the positive side of things and adjust accordingly.

The Color of Your Thoughts

I am blogging everyday (or nearly everyday) on The Daily Stoic.

Positive or negative thoughts will shape how we think. Our bodies and minds conform to our thoughts. I’d like to think I’m a positive person. In reality I can also get very fired up about things. Which is something I’m working on. I’d like to be more stoic about life and events that happen within it. I still lose my cool from time to time. I’d like to think those are become less frequent as I work to reshape how I view and think about the world. My stress levels have come down. I’m sleeping better. There’s a lot more work to be done, though.

You're a Product of Your Training

I am blogging everyday (or nearly everyday) on The Daily Stoic.

I must put in place training and habits now to replace ignorance and ill discipline. Only then do I behave and act differently. I’ve started doing some of this with the studying I’ve done on stoicism and Buddhism. There are day those (like today) where I’d like to just chill and not worry or do anything. That seems opposite of the daily stoic. I should have a daily routine and structure to help combat external forces. I get that. I also get that this change in lifestyle will be a long one and one that will require constant adjustment.