Becoming an Expert in What Matters

I am blogging everyday (or nearly everyday) on The Daily Stoic.

Today’s stoic is essentially mastering our own inner life. We can become masters of what we do (for me security) and what we enjoy (video games and board games). We should also focus on mastering our inner self. How we approach things and the way to those things. I’ve lacked a purposes since getting into a really good job and being well compensated for it. I didn’t know what I should do. I’m not as passionate about my field as some others. Which tends to surprise people because I am successful in the field and done some extracurricular stuff. It was always a challenge to me.

Figuring out how to do a podcast, then wondering if I could switch fields with success. Then it was presenting at a conference, which I’ve done multiple times. I plan to continue that because I feel I still have much to learn about presenting. Podcast, I think, has run it’s course. I’m not looking to get rich or famous from it. Instead the last few years I’ve really focused on myself and up until now I didn’t realize that’s okay. I thought that I needed to find some purpose and have a project to go with that. It turns out I am the project. I’m looking to live life to fullest and I have and still have some pretty bad habits. I’m learning something new about myself almost every day and it’s exciting.

Less is More

I am blogging everyday (or nearly everyday) on The Daily Stoic.

This is something I’ve tried to incorporate into every aspect of my life. If you want to impress people, keep them talking. The less I talk the more I will get out of it. The more I learn about the person. The more they think I am a conversationalist. The better they feel about me. If you want to be the life at the party it’s better to keep asking questions and show an interest in the other person.

Another area is email. When I send emails I try to restrict it to three or less sentences. I put my point or question at the top and give a sentence or two of context. If it’s longer than that then it may need to be an in person or phone conversation. What the limit on sentences does is get me quicker responses. You’ve seen emails that are 200 to 500 words. What do you do? I tend to roll my eyes and push it aside for later when I can actually take some time to read the email. Even then it’s a hassle and a pain in the ass.

Minimalism is something I strive for in my digital and daily life. Having less things in my house and digitally allows me to have more time for things that matter. I specifically picked the smallest lot in my neighborhood so I didn’t have to do as much yard work. Which allows for more time with the family and video games. I picked a small house so we had less things in the house. That’s less time packing if we move again and less things breaking. That’s not to say though that I don’t have a big TV or a computer with three monitors. I spend more on the things I get value out of and less on the things I don’t.

Reject Tantalizing Gifts

I am blogging everyday (or nearly everyday) on The Daily Stoic.

Today’s stoic reminds me of sales people and some of the tactics they employ. If it’s too good to be true it probably is. Sales people often offer ridiculous deals that can lead to more trouble than the initial gift is worth. I remember entertaining a door-to-door salesman a couple years ago after we had moved in to our new house. I don’t often deal with sales people. I’ll usually tell them straight up that I’m good and will pass.

In this case I was in a mood willing to entertain the idea. I’ve read a lot about social engineering, studied body language, and even given a talk on how the blue team can use social engineering in their day-to-day work. I’m well prepared for the tactics that salesman will try to use on me. In this case it was a sharply dressed gentleman with avatar sunglasses. He said something to the effect of, “If I gave you this $100 would you do XYZ?” I said no and his reaction was straight out of a daytime soap opera. His mouth was wide open and he was aghast that I would say no. I laughed inside at the reaction. It was a tactic to try and make me feel like a moron. Regardless, it was something I didn’t want nor need, so I passed and I don’t think I’ve regretted it since.

If You Want to Learn, Be Humble

I am blogging everyday (or nearly everyday) on The Daily Stoic.

I recently read a really good book by the same author for these daily stoics.

Ego is the Enemy by Ryan Holiday.

It’s been a game changer for me. It highlighted that over the past year plus I had an ego. I’ve stalled in my career. A large part of that is that I’ve reached my career goal of being a manager. I’m happy with where I’m at and willing to stay in a management position until I’m forced into retirement. The problem with that is because I’ve accomplished my goal, it made me feel like I had all the answers. That what I was doing was the best way and only way to handle things. I got frustrated by all my perceived poor decisions around me by others. I’d get frustrated by that.

Reading the book helped me realize that it wasn’t the people around me. It was me. It was my ego that was at fault and I needed to work on that. I have for the last few months and I’ve seen a decrease in my anxiety and my frustrations at work. I’m starting to pull it together and get back to a place prior to my promotion. I realized that I still have much to learn and that’s a wonderful feeling, because knowing it all is a really shitty place to be.

Judgements Cause Disturbance

I am blogging everyday (or nearly everyday) on The Daily Stoic.

It isn’t events themsleves that disturb people, but only their judgements about them.

-Epictetus, Enchiridion, 5

The stoic talks about the observing eye and the perceiving eye. The observing eye is objectively looking at an event. The perceiving eye is what we perceive the event means. We should strive to not let our perceiving eye overrule something objective. That’s what causes us to make judgements on these events. Looking at things objectively and logically causes less disturbance. A good example of this is email. Email is toneless and often we read email with tones that may not reflect the true intent. I’ve worked on keeping email, IMs, and texts toneless because we don’t necessarily know how someone feels as they’re sending the message.