Don't Tell Yourself Stories

I am blogging everyday (or nearly everyday) on The Daily Stoic.

Today’s stoic is something I learned from reading How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie. When interacting with other people make them the highlight of the conversation. Telling stories about ourselves and dominating the conversation doesn’t make us look as good as we think. To others we come off as self-absorbed. I used to struggle with starting a conversation. Now I start by asking a question. I try to get the other person talking and keep them talking.

I believe there is some need for back and forth, it’s just a matter of not entirely dominating the conversation and trying to put more focus on others. Even knowing this and practicing it, I can still speak too much about my own experiences. I did it just this day when someone was bringing up a topic and I went off on some cool thing I did. After the conversation I immediately regretted it because I didn’t feel like I gave the other person their due and opportunity to speak.

Cutting Back On The Costly

I am blogging everyday (or nearly everyday) on The Daily Stoic.

This seems to be a passage on minimalism which I agree with. When we moved from South Carolina to Tennessee we decided to get rid of half the things in our house. As a newly wed couple we moved into a 2200 square foot house. Moving we wanted to go for a house that maximized space. We found it in a 1600 square foot house. We’re a family of four now so you can imagine that we’re a bit tight. It’s perfect though and it does keep me from buying or acquiring furniture that friends or acquaintances are looking to get rid of (irony?). I think we still have too much stuff, but living in an even smaller place would start to get uncomfortable.

Awareness is Freedom

I am blogging everyday (or nearly everyday) on The Daily Stoic.

Obligations. What are they? We often do things because we feel obligated to do them. We need to be aware of what our obligations are and what we think are obligations. Paying bills and taking care of a family is one such obligation. I’ve been trying to decide if I’ll hop on WoW tonight and do my daily quests. This is not an obligation, though it may feel like it because I want to unlock the new allied race. Is it an obligation to relax though?

If we get sucked into these non-obligations we become slaves and thus not free. I had a good weekend. I took Friday off to hang out with the wife. Saturday and Sunday were slow non-committal days. I spent most of the time with video games, which was enjoyable. I don’t have many of those days anymore and it was a nice break from adulting. I felt more refreshed. The downside is that I indulged a little too much Sunday evening and skipped doing some chores and preparing for Monday. I’ve learned to forgive myself for those because it’s all part of the process and it take time to work through some of that stuff.

(Dis)integration

I am blogging everyday (or nearly everyday) on The Daily Stoic.

There are two sides. On one side is the philosopher on the other the mob. Reminds me of the movie Gladiator. The mob was the Roman people. The mob was something to be controlled. In today’s stoic it tells us to choose the philosopher which is self-awareness and control. Trying to control the mob moves us in all different directions. If you’ve seen gladiator you know it doesn’t end well for the people trying to control the mob. This goes back to focusing on what we can control: thoughts and choices.

Accurate Self-Assessment

I am blogging everyday (or nearly everyday) on The Daily Stoic.

I feel like I’m constantly assessing myself in an effort to try and get better. The commentary today says that we often over evaluate what we’re capable of and also under evaluate what we’re capable of. Where is the line and how do I get there?