Deceived and Divided

I am blogging everyday (or nearly everyday) on The Daily Stoic.

What do I really want? What am I actually after here?

I feel like this has been me for quite some time. I am starting to come around on certain things and accept me for me. Weight is an example. I’d like to be 20 pounds lighter than I am. I work out. I ate health in both the literal and figurative sense. I like what I like. To get back down I’d have to either workout more or give up some of the things I’m consuming. The issue is that I enjoy some of the things I’m consuming. Body weight is an image thing that I really don’t have to worry about anymore, so I’m not willing to put in the extra time either. That would be time taken away from my kids, spouse, and friends. I’m starting to accept that.

I’m trying to figure out what I really want in my career. I’ve reached my goals. I don’t need to advance anymore, yet I struggle internally with not doing this or that or putting in the effort I’m used to. I feel like I’m trying to learn how to live, but I’m not satisfied. I like the sense of accomplishment and doing things, yet I can pull back a bit. I’ve been asking what do I really want and I don’t have a good answer. It’s very frustrating

Be Wary of What You Let In

I am blogging everyday (or nearly everyday) on The Daily Stoic.

The five people you hang out with influence your thoughts and decisions. While that’s true we do have a decision on what we let in. This can be applied for me at work. I see a lot of choices and thought process that I disagree with. It frustrates me. I think I can have some control over what I think should come into my thoughts. I’ve been working on that a lot and it’s allowed me to sleep better and be less stressed. I still have quite a bit of work to do. I need to choose the positive side of things and adjust accordingly.

The Color of Your Thoughts

I am blogging everyday (or nearly everyday) on The Daily Stoic.

Positive or negative thoughts will shape how we think. Our bodies and minds conform to our thoughts. I’d like to think I’m a positive person. In reality I can also get very fired up about things. Which is something I’m working on. I’d like to be more stoic about life and events that happen within it. I still lose my cool from time to time. I’d like to think those are become less frequent as I work to reshape how I view and think about the world. My stress levels have come down. I’m sleeping better. There’s a lot more work to be done, though.

You're a Product of Your Training

I am blogging everyday (or nearly everyday) on The Daily Stoic.

I must put in place training and habits now to replace ignorance and ill discipline. Only then do I behave and act differently. I’ve started doing some of this with the studying I’ve done on stoicism and Buddhism. There are day those (like today) where I’d like to just chill and not worry or do anything. That seems opposite of the daily stoic. I should have a daily routine and structure to help combat external forces. I get that. I also get that this change in lifestyle will be a long one and one that will require constant adjustment.

Daily Stoic(s) - Vacation Edition

I am blogging everyday (or nearly everyday) on The Daily Stoic.

March 14 - The Straight Jacketed Soul

Greed played a role in the tech industry and bubble burst in the early 2000s. We’re not meant to look at their failures. Instead we should look to our own greed. I feel like one of my internal greeds is my own personal time.

March 15 - There is Philosophy in Everything

Live your life. This is where philosophy gains understanding. We experience and practice philosophy by doing things in life.

I’ve thought about this as I’ve studied Buddhism. It’s a path to enlightenment. The typical picture is a monk in robes. Do I need to go to that extreme to gain fulfillment in life? I don’t think so. I can still enjoy the things I enjoy in life. I just use philosophy and the teachings of Buddhism to live the most fulfilled life.

March 16 - Wealth and Freedom are Free

Focus on the freedom you have. You’ll live a much wealthier life. I hate to use thing (because I’m sick of talking about it). The corona virus is a good example of trying to live virus free.

I have taken the approach of what happens will happen. I don’t want to be caged by something that has a slim chance of killing me. Despite that my freedom will be restricted by the response. I won’t be able to go to work, or go out to eat, or even get toilet paper. Instead I’ll enjoy the freedom of being home with my kids and the opportunity to spend time with them.

March 17 - What Rules Your Ruling Reason

Explore the inner workings of how I make decisions. The example they give is making poor decisions on an empty stomach. We can be patient and rational, however outside forces can influence us to poor decisions.

I’ve been doing this a lot with the corona virus. I am upset by the response. Which for me is an opportunity to practice stoicism and Buddhism. My response is to ignore it and adjust as necessary. That hasn’t been easy with everyone talking about it.

I have friends more worried about their jobs than getting the virus. It boiled up and I decided to go run to burn off some of that frustration. Then I decided to come back and do this stoic. It will help me with further improving myself and deal with the frustrations of the world.

March 18 - Pay What Things Are Worth

The good things cost what they cost. The unnecessary are not worth the price. What I struggle with is who determines the value? If something brings you value doesn’t that make it a good thing? I pay quite a bit more for a computer than most people. It’s what I enjoy doing, play video games and projects that require a computer. Other things I could care less about.

March 19 - Cowardice as a Design Problem

Have a plan is the message for today’s stoic. I think having a plan is good. I don’t necessarily like it rule my world though. I’ve struggled with my career lately. I’ve hit my goals for my career and now feel uninspired or motivated. I probably need to come up with some plan.

Yesterday - Why Do You Need To Impress These People Again?

Trying to impress others is a faulty activity. In school I was picked on. My mom felt sorry for me and bought me some clothes to help fit in a little more. That helped as people stopped picking on me about what I was wearing. That’s also around when my grades started slipping. I was more concerned with fitting in than working to educate myself.

I exited high school with a 2.7 GPA. After six years in the Navy (wear clothes matter in a different way), I wasn’t as worried about fitting in and more just starting to build my career. I eventually graduated college with a 3.7 GPA. I still struggle with trying to impress people, this is mainly at work. I’ll need to re-evaluate that.

Today - Reason In All Things

Reasons are what we’re ruled by. They can be affected by external factors. If we don’t take into account those external factors we can make regrettable decisions. I’m starting to get better at discovering and understanding reasons and I still screw up. I just had one a few days ago where I got upset after a card game with friends.

My wife decided to do something that annoyed me. It’s because it’s my wife that it annoyed me more than if someone else does it (a friend has done the same thing before and I handled it better). I actually tried to step away from it and take a breath. My thoughts further enraged me. I recognized it the next day in a much calmer state to try and understand the reasons for the choices I made.