I am blogging everyday (or nearly everyday) on The Daily Stoic.
We’re all the same and we’re all going to go out the same. Letting go of comparisons frees us to do better work and not waste energy on things that don’t matter in the end. I’m cautious about this because I feel like sometimes I’m complacent. I’m in different to a lot of things. What’s my purpose then. I try not to compare myself but then how do we measure ourselves. I guess that gets away from the stoic a bit.
I am blogging everyday (or nearly everyday) on The Daily Stoic.
I’m dealing with an attachment. I think it’s an attachment to how things used to be and how they are today. Things have changed since I joined my current place of employment but I’m still holding onto some things from when I was hired. I enjoyed what I was doing and in fact I adjusted. Today things are much different. I adapted but there’s still some sort of vision I’m holding on to.
That’s causing me to stay awake right now. I’m thinking through something and I can’t let it go. I’m attached to the idea. It’s emotional. There’s nothing I can really do about it.
I had to deal with the lose of some of my responsibilities. I was hired on to work with developers. Their were 50. After a two year period they were down to five. I felt like I adjusted well to that. I’ve stuck with the company despite my role being reduced significantly. That’s changed over the last year as we’ve brought on more developers. I now want to get back into it but things have changed. How people view me has changed. I’m actually now trying to regain something I’ve lost. Maybe I need to continue to adjust to that and recognize that what’s coming back isn’t the same thing.
I’m currently going through a significant point in my life at work. I know it’s a point because it’s emotionally charged. It sucks. It’s an awful thing and it’s multi-faceted. I’m dealing with the fact that I’ve just impacted some people’s livelihood. It’s happened before and I remember those times. In this case these people aren’t necessarily doing anything wrong and I’m powerless to help. In fact the position I’m in probably brought about doom sooner. I’m trying to remember that it would have been discovered either way. It doesn’t take away the impact I feel I’ve caused. This will be an experience to learn from. I’ve already noted that there are questions I can ask ahead of time.
It’s a real shitty time and it’s something to learn from. I don’t know how things will work out but they really suck right now. The other thing is questioning my own place at work. I’ve been at this place the longest out of any place I’ve been. I’m struggling with seeing a lot of faults and not enough of the good things. They keep adding up and I’m trying to figure out if that’s me or if it’s the company. I have certain expectations and standards so I feel like it’s unbiased but I’m wondering if it’s emotional or the fact that I like doing new things constantly.
I am blogging everyday (or nearly everyday) on The Daily Stoic.
I recognize that there are ups and downs in life. It’s a part of life. I try to appreciate when they’re high and understand that when they’re low they’re only temporarily. I think I may try to hold onto the highs a little more and need to instead accept that I can’t hold onto it forever. I think stoicism has helped balance at more things where it’s in the middle.
Consider the possibility of devastation. I try to look at objects as if they’ll break at some point or get lost. I collect glass wear from breweries and hats from all over the place. I try to remember that those items could be broken or lost at any point. I try to see that not happens but I’ve lost enough of both or grown tired of them that I recognize them as things that will be gone at some point.
I am blogging everyday (or nearly everyday) on The Daily Stoic.
History has a tendency to repeat itself. As new technology and discoveries are made new problems will arise from them that will require future generations to tackle. It’s interesting and comforting. It helps with people who say things are getting worse.
I am blogging everyday (or nearly everyday) on The Daily Stoic.
Today has felt very zen. I went into work and dealt with traffic and I was in no hurry. I took my time and it was quiet freeing. I’ve felt tense lately and I feel like my mind is settling into a more zen mindset. I’ve let go some worries and things I wanted to do and instead focused on other things that can make me more fulfilled in life. It’s been a bit freeing. I’m accepting life for what it currently is.
