I am blogging everyday (or nearly everyday) on The Daily Stoic.

When someone causes an emotional reaction, that is on us and it often harms us more than them. We can’t control others. We can control how we respond to things including a slight made against us. One technique I’ve heard used for dealing with frustrations and stress is to write an email or letter to someone and then destroy it. If we’re the ones of topic and we never receive the letter then we don’t get upset. It requires us to have that emotional reaction.

I listen to the Manager Tools podcast on my commute into work. One of the stories from that podcast is about how one of the guys was getting pocked in the chest by someone in the elevator unbeknownst to the guy carrying the umbrella. That guy gets off and the guy turns to his buddy and expresses his anger. His buddy responds with, “He was just poking you with an umbrella. You’re the one that got angry.”

It’s something I tell my kids when they argue or fight. You get to choose how you respond to certain words and physical acts. Getting upset often escalates that situation.