I am blogging everyday (or nearly everyday) on The Daily Stoic.

I often wonder how much I know myself. There are times when I know I should be doing one thing and instead chose something else. I’ve felt this going to bed. I’m tired and ready for bed. There’s a part of me though that just doesn’t want to go to bed. I want to stay up, regardless of the plans or obligations I have the next day. Instead of trying to fight it, I’m trying to be mindful about those times and ask why. The answers unfortunately don’t come easy, so I still haven’t figured it out.

One of my favorite books is The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin. It gave me a lot of insights into who I am and what motivates me. This has helped me in my day-to-day life. It can also be a struggle. From the book, I identify as a questioner. I question everything. I don’t except things like, “because I said so” or “because that’s the way we’ve always done it.” I need a logical reason to stop questioning things. This has made me good at work. It’s also rubbed people the wrong way at times because they feel I am attacking them when I’m really trying to understand. Another negative is that I’m prone to addiction because I want to shut off the analytical side of the brain. It constantly goes for questioners and some times I just want relief. This of course leads to excessive video games and some times alcohol. I’m working on both.

Other books have been helpful in understanding who I am and I’m looking for more to better help my self know who I am. Some times I may just need to sit and think.