Daily Stoic(s)

I am blogging everyday (or nearly everyday) on The Daily Stoic.

Yesterday - Think Before You Act

So many stories for this one. It’s an obvious stoic that points out we all have the intelligence to think before we act. That’s great in an ideal world. In a world filled with emotions and impulses it can be quite difficult to think before we act. For me I often tend to think too much, so when I can I shut off my brain and just be or do. There are those moments where I fail, but I try to learn from them. I also think this one is easier said than done. We’re not going to live the perfect life, so I feel forgiveness is a much better practice than trying to think before you act. We learn more from our failures than our successes.

Today - Only Bad Dreams

This is about taking a step back from our initial emotional reactions and impulses. I recently sat with our CISO for a skip level and he imparted on me the wisdom of taking a breath or walking away when you feel an emotional reaction to some form of communication. I’ve started to work on this myself. I tend to get fired up about the smallest things. I try to pull back and take a breath. It doesn’t always work. It is getting better though.

Pleasure Can Become Punishment

I am blogging everyday (or nearly everyday) on The Daily Stoic.

For me pleasure becomes punishment when I indulge in alcohol too much or play video games too late on a work night. Some times both happen and it makes for a real mess of the next day and potentially the day after that. The stoic passage today talks about cheat days, which I am totally against. I think it’s a bit silly to be good six days out of the week and then blow it all in one day. I believe, I should work towards sustaining throughout the week and try not to over-indulge. When I want a drink I have one. When I want some candy or other awful food I have it.

I have gone so long without soda that when I do have some it tastes very syrupy and icky to me. Same thing for chocolate donuts. I love chocolate donuts. It’s just that when I have one I feel awful for the rest of the day so I don’t. A hangover is similar. I promise to quite drinking that much. I know deep down I won’t, though, and I’ve come to accept that alcohol will always be something I enjoy, so I try to find the best relationship with it. It’s gotten a lot better over the past year. I’ve started to learn how to deal with stress outside of reaching for a drink. Before it was the drink. I knew it was bad, but I didn’t know how else to deal. Drinking and video games were my release. Doing these daily stoics and reading books like, Ego is the Enemy by Ryan Holiday have started to help me find release in other areas.

I think taking a week off from work is beneficial for health reasons. I used to do it once a year. Now I focus on doing it twice a year. Once in the spring and once in the fall. If possible, going somewhere without cell service is best. We used to go to Myrtle beach as a family. I realized after a few trips that the biggest thing was that my phone didn’t have cell service and so I’d leave it in my room dead. It was quite freeing to not have that thing attached to me. Same thing happened to me when I was in Yellowstone last year. My cell service was crap and it was fantastic.

I don’t know that I addressed this stoic sufficiently. It’s about not letting the things we really want to do overtake our lives. Drinking and video games are my two biggest things. If I could, I’d come home from work grab a drink and play some video games. I’ve actually done that though and it started to become a punishment. What was often one more game or one more hour turned into several more hours and several more drinks. I’d then go into work and feel miserable. It’s hard to stop without the right motivation and I think I’ve recently found it. Not giving into my ego.

Protect Your Peace of Mind

I am blogging everyday (or nearly everyday) on The Daily Stoic.

“You burn too bright, you know you'll never last” -Halfway Right by Linkin Park

Today’s stoic reminds me of the Linkin Park lyric above. One of the great things about work is that they only want you to put in 40 hours a week. We’re not expected to do 50+ hours. I often do go over the 40 though and that’s with constant work. One of the things I’ve instituted for my teams is to spend 20% of their time doing a person project. That’s one day a week for them to work on something they’re really interested in.

When I was struggling with work, I got away from that. My personal project is around security awareness training at work. I like to do lunch and learns and speak out our company town halls. My presentation style is usually with lots of memes and other visuals. Putting together a presentation like that can take some time. It’s time well spent though especially because it can get me out of the day-to-day rush of getting things done. I’ve also recently started getting back into talking walks during my lunch break. This is an opportunity to get out of the office and allow my brain to breath a little more.

Daily Stoic(s)

I am blogging everyday (or nearly everyday) on The Daily Stoic.

Friday - You Don’t Have To Have An Opinion

The title says it all. Try not to have an opinion about things that flare up an emotional reaction. Politics is the first thing that jumps to my mind. It’s an arena I largely stay out of. I do have an opinion about things and it usually revolves around data. Instead of getting fired up about something I social media I like to thing about the why. Why did that get tweeted.

Currently, the president will tweet out something that flares up emotions and outrage soon follows. I always wonder what’s the motivation behind the tweet. I think the president knows what he’s doing and his tweet is getting the exact intended intention. He wants the outrage because it does one of two things: further strengthens his followers because of the outrage; or he’s doing something he doesn’t want people to pick up on (or both).

My biggest area of practice is work. Things can be handled in a way I see as inefficient. It can often bring out strong emotions and I usually express my displeasure.

Saturday - Anger is Bad Fuel

This follows Friday’s stoic nicely. Anger is often seen as a motivator. The problem is that it leads a wake of destruction in it’s path and wears and tears our soul. I often feel this dealing with kids. They can be quite frustration and at some point that builds and builds until it’s release in a fit of anger. Same thing with spouses. I’ve put quite a few holes in doors and walls because I let anger get the better of me. I’d like to think I’ve gotten better and there’s still a lot more work to do at work and home.

Sunday - Hero or Nero

This is about control over desires and indulgences. We are a king when we have this control. When we don’t have control we become tyrants to ourselves and those around us. I don’t really have much else to say about that. I think it’s fairly simple and follows along the theme of many other stoic passages. We have control over two things: our thoughts and choices. Having inner strength and awareness allows us to become more kingly. Giving in to desires and indulgences makes us a tyrant.

Did That Make You Feel Better

I am blogging everyday (or nearly everyday) on The Daily Stoic.

This is something we should ask ourselves when we’re heaving a freakout, moaning or groaning. Did it really help? I will admit that bitching about something at work feels like it helps. Thinking about it now I don’t think it does really help. It might feel like I’m venting. Afterwards it doesn’t change anything. Then again ranting can make me realize how stupid it really is and how wrong my perception is. Maybe in those instances it helps.