What Do You Have To Show For Your Years?

I am blogging everyday (or nearly everyday) on The Daily Stoic.

This stoic is interesting. What defines a valuable use of ones time. Rounds of golf are called out as something being wasteful. I disagree because I’ve used golf as an opportunity to practice my stoicism. I’ve used it to stay in shape and active. I’ve used it to meet new people and hang out with friends. The challenge of it is something that not only stretches me physically but also mentally.

Is achievement in my career supposed to be what defines me? Be remembered? Do something that changes the world? Each person is different. Video games could also be looked at as wasteful. They too can stretch the mind. They can allow me to connect with friends and make new acquaintances. Some of my best friends are people whom I have never met. Maybe it’s not aimed at me. I've met my career goals and now I’m happy to live life. Spend time with friends and family. Try new things. I don’t need to be famous or some day have a book written about me. I’m just trying to be happy with who I am. Which is easier said than done.

Fear The Fear of Death

I am blogging everyday (or nearly everyday) on The Daily Stoic.

With death comes the end of fear. I’ve often wondered how I would react if my plane was going down or if I was starring some other death scenario in the face. Would I given it to fear or accept my fate. I’d like to think I would accept my fate because to allow fear in only brings panic. We all die at some point. Fear of death is a waste of energy. I say that but I’ve been up high and found my heart start to race.

This pandemic is surrounded by fear. When I talk around the acceptance of the death numbers and ponder on if the reaction is worth the effort, I’m met with aghast people. Even one life is too much. I respond that we all meet that fate at some point. There response to that is that life becomes meaningless and I just smile. I often keep to myself on the topic so the conversations are rare. I’m usually told I’m wrong. Which is fine because I can’t control their thoughts.

Human Scale

I am blogging everyday (or nearly everyday) on The Daily Stoic.

In the grand scheme of things I play a very small role. In my office I realize that I only play a small part to the rest of the organization. This realization has helped me in security. I could easily feel very important in a field that helps prevent bad things from happening and responding to things when they do happen. I think a lot of security people do feel that way. This can have the adverse effect of telling people what they need instead of understanding what they need. I try to find that balance between what they need to get done and how we can do that in a safe way.

What Comes To Us All

I am blogging everyday (or nearly everyday) on The Daily Stoic.

The same fate comes to us all. Wealth and legacy are all left behind. It doesn’t really matter. I think this is why I intend to joy life and not spend my evenings and weekends working. I do when I needed. Today was a day where all the work was where it needed to be and no emails were coming in. I decided I’d cut out of work a little early to enjoy the afternoon a little more.

Know Thyself - Before It's Too Late

I am blogging everyday (or nearly everyday) on The Daily Stoic.

I often wonder how much I know myself. There are times when I know I should be doing one thing and instead chose something else. I’ve felt this going to bed. I’m tired and ready for bed. There’s a part of me though that just doesn’t want to go to bed. I want to stay up, regardless of the plans or obligations I have the next day. Instead of trying to fight it, I’m trying to be mindful about those times and ask why. The answers unfortunately don’t come easy, so I still haven’t figured it out.

One of my favorite books is The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin. It gave me a lot of insights into who I am and what motivates me. This has helped me in my day-to-day life. It can also be a struggle. From the book, I identify as a questioner. I question everything. I don’t except things like, “because I said so” or “because that’s the way we’ve always done it.” I need a logical reason to stop questioning things. This has made me good at work. It’s also rubbed people the wrong way at times because they feel I am attacking them when I’m really trying to understand. Another negative is that I’m prone to addiction because I want to shut off the analytical side of the brain. It constantly goes for questioners and some times I just want relief. This of course leads to excessive video games and some times alcohol. I’m working on both.

Other books have been helpful in understanding who I am and I’m looking for more to better help my self know who I am. Some times I may just need to sit and think.