Fear is a Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

I am blogging everyday (or nearly everyday) on The Daily Stoic.

Fear is a powerful motivator. It can be both good and bad. The stoic focuses on the bad side, paranoia. I grew up with a t-shirt company that said no fear. My mom wouldn’t let me get any of the shirts because she feared I’d be beat up at school. I eventually did get one and I am happy to report I didn’t get beat up. Fear has controlled me in other avenues. I’ve missed out on opportunities because I let fear overcome me. I went out for a soccer team once in Minnesota. On the first day of tryouts I backed out after the first person showed up. I was afraid of not making the team or more importantly having people hate me. I later got to know some of the people on the team and learned they were hurting for players. It was too late in the season to join.

Since that time I’ve read one of the most important books in my life. Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Dr. Susan Jeffers. The book changed my thinking about letting fear control me. I learned to accept it and head into situations with that fear. Often times those situations work out to be positive experiences and opportunities.

Don't Seek Out Strife

I am blogging everyday (or nearly everyday) on The Daily Stoic.

With all sorts of media and electronic devices around it’s easy to fill every moment of the day with those things. Last year I started taking brief moments where I was waiting on someone or something to just sit. It’s really hard especially with the amount of work I need to get done. I’m trying to do a better job of just being still when I have a moment. Golf allows me to exercise this. If It’s just my normal group of people I play with a round is usually three to three and a half hours. When there are other groups on the course that number can increase by an hour or more. In this instances I try not to reach for my phone and instead pay attention to course and the nature surrounding it.

Steady Your Impulses

I am blogging everyday (or nearly everyday) on The Daily Stoic.

Ask, who is in control here? What principles are guiding me?

These are the questions to ask when I feel impulses trying to drive me towards high or lows. I’ve noticed that when I have a bad day a good day can follow. Things ride high one moment and then are down the next. I feel I am seeing less of these since studying stoicism. Today was an example. I had a good solid day. I got a lot accomplished. It was an intense day. The urge right now is to give into my impulses to play video games or grab a beer. Those help me to relax but they can come at a cost if I spend too long indulging them. That’s where the low comes in the next day. The less productive day. Then if tomorrow is a less productive day, Thursday becomes the productive day because I feel the need to make up for the previous day. I need that break though, right? I can’t be always on.

On Being Invincible

I am blogging everyday (or nearly everyday) on The Daily Stoic.

Poise is the stoic for today. Not allowing emotions to interfere with our responses. This is huge for people in security. I see a lot of things in my line of work that can drive a person crazy. The more you get into the field the more you can identify issues. These are technical, regulatory, and political in nature. Prior to studying stoicism I would provide emotional responses to a lot of these things. It’s one of the reasons why alcohol is an issue in our industry. We rely on it to take the pain away. I relied on it. To a point I still do. I’m working on that.

One of the things that has helped is keeping my composure when bad things show up. This has helped me sleep better at night and hopefully made me a better person to be around. I still do get fired up, just not as much. One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in IT, is that I can’t do anything about what’s happened. I can look toward fixing it and moving on. Three months from now our security team will find something that we’ll need to respond with poise.

The Source of Your Anxiety

I am blogging everyday (or nearly everyday) on The Daily Stoic.

This stoic really started helping me last year work on my anxiety. It gave me control over my emotions. My wants and needs. It showed me that how I thought impacted my ability to get worked up or impact sleep. I’m much better about it a year later. I still have some work to do. Things of uncertainty tend to still get me. So, does venturing into new situations and scenarios. One I had recently was golfing by myself. I had never done it before. I was nervous initially. It all worked out though and I actually felt it was peacfull experience.