I like to think that we're living in that parallel universe where Chester Bennington is shown what would happen if he were to commit suicide. The outpouring of love and grief for his death. In that parallel universe he decides not to commit suicide because he sees our universe. One can dream.
I discovered the news while on Twitter. Mike Shinoda tweeted the following:
I was confused. I quickly pulled up Google and started digging for more information. The headlines teased Chester Bennington's death. The articles described his suicide and shock from family, friends, and other musicians. I was shocked. I graduated high school a couple years after Hybrid Theory hit shelves. I joined the Navy and attended one of the best conferences in southern California. One that included Linkin Park, Korn, Snoop Dogg, and others. The concert did not disappoint.
I had tickets to attend a Linkin Park concert a few years ago. Those tickets ended up getting refunded because Chester broke his leg. I was disappointed, but knew I would see another concert eventually. Seeing Linkin Park again is still a possibility. Unfortunately, it will be without Chester. That makes me sad. It also makes me reflect on my own struggle with suicide.
In my youth, I struggled with my identity. I fought with myself mentally. I don't know if it was depression, but I did have thoughts of killing myself. This was early in my Navy career. Nothing really triggered it. I got along with fellow sailors just fine. Things just didn't feel like they were going my way. I went to the common area to watch some TV.
I found a show by the name of Titus (by Christopher Titus). It's a show I had been watching for a couple years. In the episode Titus was talking about how he tried to kill himself while in high school. All because of a girl. I laughed so hard that I realized suicide was not the answer to my problems.
I've always remembered and reflected on that moment. How not flipping to that channel could have changed my life drastically. How I wouldn't be here writing this blog post, with a wife and two beautiful kids asleep just feet away from me. I'm writing this blog post because I know there are people out there who are struggling mentally. They're trying to decide how they'll proceed. I want to tell you that suicide is definitely not the answer. Life is the answer and it's a wonderful thing if you're willing to work for it (and have a little patience).
If you're struggling with dark thoughts you're not alone. There are several things you can do. Find something you can laugh at. Reach out to a hotline. Talk to someone else about your feelings. We've all been in that dark place at some point. It will get better. Like Chester you will be missed.